AUTISM- READY TO TALK IF WE ARE READY TO LISTEN

Many non-verbal and some verbal autistic children even today are assumed to be intellectually challenged. It has been known for many years now that these children possess an intelligence beyond our comprehension. I have had the honor of experiencing this first hand. Many non-verbal children have started communicating today thanks to assisted communication like FC, RPM and in some instances, even telepathy. I have many times heard from mothers themselves that their children with autism sense their thoughts and are energetically connected to them. But these aspects are pushed away or ignored as a mother’s glorified fantasy about her own child…even by the mother herself!! Why? Because it is not “scientific” or because the children are not like the others. What science has discovered is only the tip of the iceberg. What lies beyond the frontiers of reality is much much more but people are afraid to open up and talk about it for the fear of being labelled as wierd or eccentric.

However, Children with autism are here and they are stubborn and determined that they want to introduce to us an aspect of ourselves that we are not familiar with….our intuition, our inner beliefs, our gut feelings, and our own perception and experience of truth…let us not ignore something just because it cannot be proved scientifically. Science can only prove what can be perceived with the senses. There is much much more to a human being that lies beyond the physical body….we are much more than what we can touch and feel and quantify. The truth is experienced as an undeniable inner reality by the heart. Once we have experienced it, there is no going back.

Here is an article by someone who has experienced the true reality of the being of autism. Once we open up to this possibility, we begin to honor who they are and will start to realize that autism is not just a different ability but it’s much much more than what we know it to be.

Many parents rejoice when they are told that their children are no longer on the spectrum. That is because they are not yet aware of the gifts of autism which unfold when the child is healed physically and grounded.

Once we open our hearts to this reality, many more real time examples will start to come our way….enjoy reading…even if you cannot understand….http://ezinearticles.com/?Questions-About-Facilitated-Communication-and-Telepathy-Answered-by-Nonverbal-Typist-Using-FC&id=8157734

THE POWER OF PRAYER

Sometimes I feel prayer is a tricky thing….we think we know what we want but we are not aware what we need….but the universe knows what we need. Our soul knows what we need. The infinite wisdom of creation knows what we need. If I pray very strongly, the universe may grant what I want and not what I need?

Or does the universe use its discretion to fulfill only those wishes that are for the greatest good?!

When my daughter was trying for admission to various design colleges, we were praying that she should get through NID. But we also wondered if that was her soul choice! Was that the place she was meant to go? Where she would meet the people she needed to meet? Have the experiences which would lead her further on her destiny path?

We don’t know!! So how can we tamper with universal will? I know for sure, that when we pray strongly, God may just give in like a doting parent, “arre de do na, baccha hai…(oh grant it to her…she’s just a kid- in evolution)”

And the archangel may say ,”but Lord, that’s not wat she planned!!”

God says, “that’s ok…she will anyway learn…maybe she’ll just take a couple of more lifetimes!!”

I don’t want to linger for a couple more lifetimes just to have petty wishes and desires fulfilled… I’m a soul that wants to learn my lessons with mom earth and go back home to daddy asap!!

If getting that dream job is not going to help me solve my soul purpose, then I don’t want it. If marrying that handsome hunk is not going to help me learn the lessons I need to learn, then I don’t want him. If my soul demands that I take a break, care for myself and take stock of my life, then I should put away my conditioning and do just that. Else the universe may decide that ‘this woman will not take a break unless she falls sick. Hmmm’

How will I know what is best for me?

I feel there are a couple of ways to know… (According to my limited knowledge)

A) Being in touch with my higher self (who had already been here done that) and taking intuitive guidance. Not ignoring the strong inner voice.

B) Sticking to what feels right and true even if it is not what the society dictates.

C) To surrender to the universal wisdom that knows what is best for all concerned.

So I feel much safer to pray like this: ” dear universe let that happen which is for the highest good for all humanity and creation”. I don’t want to come in the way of my own destiny or the the greatest human good by praying for something that may not really be the best for me!!!

Who knows the universe has planned something bigger and better for us!!

This is just my opinion. Everyone may do what’s best according to them….

Let me leave you with this song ‘Dig a Little Deeper’ from the movie Princess and the Frog that I find so inspiring!!

Lyrics here:

Dig a Little Deeper

From “The Princess and the Frog”
Performed by Jenifer Lewis, featuring the Pinnacle Gospel Choir

Don’t matter what you look like
Don’t matter what you wear
How many rings you got on your finger
We don’t care
(No we don’t care)

Don’t matter where you come from
Don’t even matter what you are
A dog, a pig, a cow, a goat
Had ’em all in here (we had ’em all in here)

And they all knew what they wanted
What they wanted me to do
I told ’em what they needed
Just like I be telling you

You got to dig a little deeper
Find out who you are
You got to dig a little deeper
It really ain’t that far

When you find out who you are
You’ll find out what you need
Blue skies and sunshine guaranteed
You got to dig (dig)
You got to dig (dig)

Prince Froggy is a rich little boy
You wanna be rich again
That ain’t gonna make you happy now
Did it make you happy then? No!
Money ain’t got no soul
Money ain’t got no heart
All you need is some self-control
Make yourself a brand new start

You got to dig a little deeper
Don’t have far to go
You got to dig a little deeper
Tell the people Mama told you so

Can’t tell you what you’ll find
Maybe love will grant you peace of mind
Dig a little deeper and you’ll know

Miss Froggy, might I have a word?
You’s a hard one, that’s what I heard
Your daddy was a loving man
Family through and through
You your daddy’s daughter
What he had in him you got in you

You got to dig a little deeper
For you it’s gonna be tough
You got to dig a little deeper
You ain’t dug near far enough

Dig down deep inside yourself
You’ll find out what you need
Blue skies and sunshine guaranteed
Open up the windows
Let in the light, children
(Blue skies and sunshine)
(Blue skies and sunshine)
Blue skies and sunshine
Guaranteed

Lots of love,

Nirupama

STRENGTHS OR LIMITATIONS?

Never judge a fish by its ability to climb…said a wise man called Albert Einstein.

One day I was talking to a friend of mine who was feeling low. On probing she confessed that she was feeling very inadequate. Inspite of her hard work she was unable to fulfill her boss’s as well as her own expectations at work.

As we talked more about it, we realized that she was taking her inadequacies personally. The limitations she was experiencing was just in terms of her skills that her job required, but she allowed herself to feel limited as a person! That was completely unnecessary!

We have all been blessed with many many qualities, skills and abilities. Some we use in isolation and some in combination.

Ashok was desperately looking for a job. He found an ad for a sales position. He applied for it and talked himself into the position.

He was an introvert who was gifted in creative writing. He dabbled with a bit of writing and even got little essays and stories published in small time magazines. But his father, a typical middle-class Indian man, prevailed upon him that he needed to get a real job if he had to earn his living and the sales job looked lucrative with all the incentive schemes.

A few months into his job Ashok started to feel frustrated as he found it extremely difficult to strike a rapport with prospective customers but total strangers. He could not bring himself to flatter or butter people just to get business like some of his colleagues or to relentlessly pursue them risking fear of rejection.

He started attributing the limitations of the job to himself as a person!

One day he got a letter informing him that one of his articles had been published in a fairly popular magazine.

That was enough to motivate him to consider writing as a possible career choice. Much against his conservative father’s wishes he applied for an opening as a copy writer in an ad agency.

Here the combination of his qualities of introversion, introspection and a way with words made him a successful copy writer and he soon found time to write and publish his first novell.

Neha was a positive, caring and emotional person. She was ruled by her heart. She met Ruchi at her new work place. Ruchi was intellectual, outspoken and confident. Neha admired her qualities and wished she could be more like her. Confident and self assured. They got close to each other. Ruchi often gave feedback to Neha about how she should do this or that in a very well meaning way but what Neha found out was that Ruchi was negative and pessimistic. She found something wrong with everyone and everything. The negativity started affecting Neha who was positive but less strong. She would feel emotionally drained out every time she was with Ruchi. She started feeling unsure about herself.

But one day she realized that Ruchi was a great person but their relationship was not. Individually they were both great but their personalities didn’t match. Neha since then consciously chose friends who valued her for who she was and helped her to become a better person with respect and unconditional love.

When one feels limited, it may be worth one’s while pondering about whether you are limited a person or is it that you are in a position- not just a job, but any situation- that is limiting your true potential. A case of the right person being in a wrong place.

There is nothing good or bad in this world. They say the head should be cool and the stomach should be warm. If the qualities exchange places, it results in illness. The right thing in the right place makes everything alright!! Doesn’t it?

TRUE HARMONY

I’m grateful to Anthroposophy for bringing me closer to my own roots…..

I am convinced, thanks to both ayurveda and Anthroposophy, that we all have dual realities. Our spiritual reality is as real as our physical reality. The spirit cannot manifest without a physical body. It needs a physical receptacle in order to manifest. However, the manifestation of the spirit is dependent on the quality of the physical body. The closer the physical aspect comes in aligning with the purity of the spirit, the truer the manifestation.

Hence, if we pay close attention to the inner voice which is the voice of the spirit, in making choices, the more aligned we will be in all our different aspects. This leads to harmony. The harmony between the physical, etheric, emotional, mental and spiritual aspects of our self.

A PRAYER

Our task is not to teach you our way of singing but to hear, understand, and join you in your singing. You have a special song for us. Grant us the patience, wisdom, and ears to hear.

In a letter from mother Gayle to daughter Lyrica

Page 9,

The Awetizm Experience

A PRAYER

Oh High ones,

In our holy attempt to help you integrate into the neurotypical human society, help us to be aware of your divine essence, help us to protect your divine sanctity and help us to help you descend with ease and dignity.

And while you descend, you help the human community around you to ascend,

to ascend beyond judgment, beyond the need to be in control, beyond the need to be perfect,

to ascend into flowing freely,

into a world where blaming and complaining gives way to love, patience and understanding,

where fear gives way to trust.

Help us ascend back into a dimension where we nourish a deep respect for Nature within and without,

into a world of acceptance, where ‘different’ is normal,

where everyone is respected for bringing their unique gifts into this world….

Amen

We are never alone

We are never alone

We are never unsupported

Our angels are always with us

Our spirit guides are always with us

Our guardians are always with us

Our higher selves are always with us

Our source is always with us

We are always with our source

We just need to be aware of this

We are inseparable from our source

We are the source

We are never alone…..

Words penned for a student….

Who are you? what brings you here?

Radiant your countenance, mysterious your way,

The earth awaits in eagerness to hear what you have to say

One look, one gesture, one smile from you will satisfy our hunger

We do see you smiling and chatting but with whom we wonder….

Right now all we get from you is the gift of silence….but slowly as we learn to be patient and learn the meaning of TRUE love, I’m sure you have in store for us gifts from beyond the universe

INTERSTELLAR

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7th May, 2015

I just saw the movie Interstellar after a long wait….it was truly worth the wait. Its a movie that takes you to a place where science overlaps spirituality. I got a couple of messages from the movie…

a) Love is the only energy/ frequency/ force actually, that can cross borders and boundaries between all that separates human beings.

b) Human beings exist simultaneously in many dimensions. Past, present and future aspects of ourselves, all at once…so when we talk about connecting with our higher self, we are actually connecting with ourselves from the future!!! From a higher dimension!

This higher self can access our self from all stages of evolution and whenever required, tries to send messages and clues to the lower self from time to time…the more we are in touch with ourselves, the more we get the messages- from the future!!! Maybe even we send messages to our lower selves!!!

Isn’t it wonderful to even imagine?

This movie reinforced my belief in this very message that I have received from so many sources!!

It helped me to understand the human journey and evolution from a very expanded point of view…..

Thirsty for more spiritual messages from the movie? Here’s the link to another one that I liked!!

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ftr11CQvqms

THE WELLNESS OF OUR CHILDREN

November 30 2010

Rohit, 9 years old, comes back from school, tosses his bag aside, kicks off his shoes, goes straight to the fridge, grabs a bottle of coke, helps himself to a pack of chips from the pantry, and settles down on the couch and switches on his favorite cartoon show on TV.  His mother Reema goes ballistic as he’s snacking before his lunch. She some how makes sure some decent meal goes in as he continues to watch TV. Reema is not even sure if he knows what he‘s had for lunch! She checks his diary with trepidation…hoping there’s no note from the teacher today. No such luck! “Rohit’s Class work is incomplete- not concentrating in class. Please meet the class-teacher”.

Post lunch he moves to the comp, logs on to his Facebook account to increase his Farmville points. It’s soon time for tuitions. After tuition, he goes straight to his friend’s house. They’re both excited about the new PSP game his friend has acquired! After his mother figures out where he is by 9pm, he goes home for a family dinner- in front of TV of course…Indian Idol is on! His day ends by about ten thirty after struggling with some last minute home work, when he goes to bed with his I-pod. He has to be up by 6 so he can get his school bus by 7am.

Sounds familiar? This is now a typical scenario in today’s urban households. This is the lifestyle of children today: Feasting on coke and fast food, glued to electronic entertainment, busy with tuitions and classes and absolutely no physical and out door play.

So it’s no wonder that the children of our generation do not seem to be as calm as they were, say fifteen or twenty years back. More and more children are on the hyperactive side. Incidences of ADHD that is clinical hyperactivity, autism, learning problems are on the rise. Even a seemingly calm child seems to have difficulty in concentrating for longer periods of time and gets bored easily. Health issues like asthma, skin allergies, anorexia, bulimia, high cholesterol and digestion problems which were earlier considered as medical problems for adults are plaguing children as well. A child today is much more sensitive, emotionally as well as sensorially. A major role in causing these issues can be attributed to changing lifestyles.

The need of the hour is to adopt a holistic healthy approach to life that heals and promotes well being. We are so caught in the rat race to make it big in life or in catching-up-with-the-joneses that we hardly make any time to smell the roses. Our children bear the brunt of our unconscious ways much more than we realize.  They tend to lose their innocence and childhood too soon.

As adults, we often take a trip down memory lane and reminisce about the good old days when we ate mummy’s yummy ‘chaklis’ and ran down the neighborhood to play ‘chor-police’. Those were the days of fun and frolic. Don’t we owe it to our children to let them have a beautiful childhood too? It’s time to make some basic simple changes in our lifestyle and watch the magic unfold.

The following are some of the changes that we need to make in our life styles if we want our children to become more grounded and be comfortable in their skin. These tips are helpful universally to all children but some children are more sensitive to the environment than others, and so are more important and necessary for those children who need special attention.

DIET

This is the single most significant change that has happened in the past 15 to 20 years- the sudden flooding in the market of packaged foods, instant foods, sweet, artificially flavored, preserved, frozen foods. We don’t seem to eat fresh food anymore. Even the fruits we buy off the shelves are imported, hence preserved with chemicals. We are feeding our children toxic food in the form of chips, artificially colored candies, jams, juices, colas.  Children are addicted to these foods and denying them their favorite junk food often ends in temper tantrums. More often than not parents give in to their kids’ demands to buy peace, thus starting a vicious cycle of offering toxins as pacifiers, not to mention the fact that they are inadvertently raising spoilt brats in the process.

Please give your children natural, farm fresh, locally produced, homemade foods, free of any artificial flavors, preservatives, colors, sugars. This will play a major role in calming your child and in increasing their attention span. Good nutrition is the very basic thing a parent can provide the child with. Tampering with the basics can lead to many harmful repercussions in the long run.

ELECTRONIC GADGETS

Keep children away from TV. TV is harmful for children, and so are computers, mobile phones, video games, PSPs, microwave ovens. The electro-magnetic field generated by the TV and computer can structurally damage children’s brains. Research supports the fact that children under 2 should not be watching ANY TV at all!

Children have stopped going out to play because of TV. As they are used to being passively entertained, their brains can’t come up with innovative ways anymore to entertain themselves otherwise. They’ve become dependent on these gadgets which have already enslaved our generation. The second the TV is off, they start saying they’re bored! Please don’t worry when they complain of boredom, for that is what leads to creativity!

Parents should cut down on TV time, especially in the evenings when they should be playing outdoors, and during meal times. If they do watch TV, the content should be monitored to ensure what they’re watching is age-appropriate and give suitable explanation where required. And beware of advertisements. They can give the young impressionable mind faulty ideas about what is supposedly good or bad for us just so we go and buy their unnecessary products.

For more information on TV, one can find the article:

Strangers in Our Homes: TV and Our Children’s Minds by Susan R. Johnson, M.D. on the net.

TOYS

Many parents fret that young children get easily bored with the expensive toys that we buy for them. That is because these toys, in spite of their attractiveness, cannot engage the child. They bring nothing out of the child.

What children really need are simple things from the home like paper, boxes of soap, paste, etc, utensils of various sizes from the kitchen, preferably filled with water, chapatti dough, clay, paints, beads, wooden blocks, cloth, simple wooden toys, stones, shells and other treasures from nature. A good toy is only 10 percent toy and 90 percent child! Complete and finished toys give a child no scope for creativity and imagination. Whereas you give a child simple materials, and the child can create entire worlds out of them!!

Once you get the idea, your creativity can take over. Here is a toy hidden in every nook-n-cranny of your house. The trick lies in using your imagination rather than taking the easy way out and buying expensive gadgets across the counter. For example, even if a toddler puts seeds in the masala box he is improving his eye-hand coordination while being fruitfully engaged. And please don’t mind the mess!

If you do any work in the kitchen, keep the child with you on the counter if it’s safe, or on the kitchen floor.

Let the child imitate you and do whatever you’re doing. Washing rice, peeling, pouring, kneading, making balls of dough, sorting vegetables, mopping the floor, washing clothes, all the while talking to the child about what you’re doing. Working with our hands is as good for us as it is for our children. It’s all about being in the here and now, for at least sometime everyday with the child with nothing in between. Not even your thoughts! Try this at home….it’s magical!! You will be amazed at the wonders children work out with everyday humdrum items lying around the house. Their creativity knows no bounds once they get started. Working with the hands is very calming for the mind and builds thinking capacity.

As for the older children, they need to be outdoors with children of their age, sweating it out and engaging in physical sports and games apart from reading and engaging in a meaningful hobby.

ATMOSPHERE

Keep the atmosphere in the house calm and noise free. It will help if the mother also calms down in her thoughts and actions.

Avoid loud music, talk to them in soft soothing voices, meditate and keep your own emotions under control. Children imitate us at an external and an internal level. If we are calm, we help our children be calm.

Avoid choosing a mall as a weekend outing program. You may notice that you feel drained out after a trip to the mall. That’s because malls are an assault on our senses…the sights, sounds, colors, movement, the beckoning products on display, the resisting of temptation, all this puts a lot of strain on us (the games arcade takes the cake for over-stimulation). Then imagine the effect they have on children! If children behave badly in malls, is it their fault?

Instead, go to calmer places like the garden for walks together, to picnics with friends, to the beach, climb a mountain, go boating; etc. There is nothing as rejuvenating as being one with nature. The pleasure of exploring nature’s bounty with your children can’t be compared with a trip to the neighborhood mall.

TOUCH AND WARMTH

Do you touch and hug your child enough? Do you rock him on your knees? Do you bounce him in the air? Do you carry her and go round and round until both of you fall with a spinning head? No? Then do it!

Also massage your child’s (any age) calves and feet at night with oil or cream in gentle circular movements, put on socks, and make him sleep with a story or a song. Warmth in your approach to the child (stress free), and warmth of touch and temperature- these are necessary for every growing child.

RHYTHM

Early to bed, early to rise, truly makes a child healthy and wise. Set a regular pattern – Breakfast, lunch, afternoon nap, and evening play in the park, returning home for an early dinner, getting ready for bed. Make sure the calm ambience (TV off, dim lights, soft sounds, into the bedroom) for sleep is set at least an hour before bedtime. And please remember, children need at least ten hours of uninterrupted sleep, for that’s when their bodies grow and rejuvenate.

Try to maintain the same routine everyday so the child knows what to expect next. But be sure not to be obsessed about it. It’s good to be disciplined but it’s equally important not to lose sleep over it. It helps to be conscious and aware of the better way of doing things and to make an honest attempt at getting better.

This will go a long way in helping your child feel secure, confident and most importantly, be healthy.

I need to put in a few personal notes here. I felt it was important to let the readers know that I have not written the article only as a Psychologist, who has seen in her practice, a number of children whose problems can be traced to an unhealthy lifestyle but as a parent myself, still struggling to make what I’ve written about as much a part of my family’s lifestyle as possible.

When I first became aware of these possibilities, my elder daughter was already 10 years old and my younger one was just born. Three years back, I started my journey into a more conscious way of living. Then I wondered…is it too late to bring about changes in the lifestyle of my family? Is my daughter too far gone in her addiction to TV and instant foods? Will my husband cooperate? But no…now that I am getting to know about a better way to live, I cannot consciously do things that are unhealthy for my children.

So I am not already someone who’s been there and done that, but is someone who is right in the middle of a storm that any change tends to bring about.

But am happy to say that in three years, my first one is almost free of asthma, her school performance has improved and the younger one is more robust than the first one was. It is a hard struggle, but its well worth it.

These are a few things that will surely help your child too if followed with consciousness and conviction.

Don’t worry if you’re going off track. Be aware and conscious. If you could do something right, just be aware that you did. If you couldn’t, you tell yourself that you couldn’t do it this time, but you’re going to keep trying. There is no need for us to judge ourselves on any matter, not just matters related to children. We do what we do and we’re ok. But if we get to know of a better way to do things, we will try that. That’s more important. With practice, you’ll get there and when you see the results, you’ll be convinced and you’ll be able to convince others, that the best way to live is naturally!

It is as if Mother Nature is appealing to us through our children:

“Please slow down; become conscious of what you’re doing; let children be children; respect what is natural; take care of your children and wake up before it is too late!!”

And when I say this, I do not talk about any one child. I’m talking about all the children and parents of the world…the collective consciousness. Every time one more person becomes conscious, it adds to this collective consciousness, and this will help to heal our planet!

Nirupama Rao

Hello world!

Hi everyone! I realised that I enjoy writing after I published my first book!! I am a Curative (special) Educator by profession, wife of the nicest man I’ve ever met and the mother of two wonderfully talented girls. I love reading and writing about spirituality and am passionate about autism.

I have posted many little notes and articles on Facebook in the past years and I will be collecting and compiling all of them here in chronological order and hopefully keep writing more. This page is for all my miscellaneous musings and I will have another more subject-related (autism, Waldorf Education, health and well-being) one coming up soon.

Hope you enjoy reading the pieces of my mind!!!

Lots of love,

Nirupama