Inner Work

When we used to stay in Bangalore, my elder daughter used to suffer from severe asthma. There were many sleepless nights of continuous coughing. And nights where we had to rush her to emergency to give her nebulisation. Later we bought a nebuliser. There was even a forgettable incedence where she had to be hospitalised.

I eventually found a homeopath who was inspired by anthroposophy. She explained to me how a mother’s emotional life had an impact on the child’s health, vitality and well being.

I was going through an emotional low at that time. The homeopath who was also trained in counselling said it was I that needed treatment. When I felt better my daughter would too. So I went to her and to a clinical psychologist for therapy and talked about everything that had ever bothered me.

Thanks to the homeopath I met anthroposophy and learnt about the “pedagogical law” among many other things. That is how the caregiver/mother/teacher/doctor/therapist’s well being influenced that of those they serve.

In anthroposophy a lot of importance is given to inner work on the part of parents and teachers. Children imitate us at various levels. The most important being what we don’t say!!

So I learnt that we have to strive to be worthy of being imitated.

I took the efforts to work on myself- Inner Work we call it.

Then we moved to Mumbai. My daughter started getting better and better.

Her school was better, there was no Bangalore pollen, and I was getting better. Learning everyday, bringing changes into who I am and that changed what I did.

For me an important aspect of inner work is all about being conscious of what we say and do in a non judgmental way…as an observer. In a way working from bottom up. Action to consciousness to being.

Cut to the present. My daughter has returned to Bangalore for her project. In spite of my experience and awareness I was still anxious about the pollen and it’s reputation as the ‘asthma capital’ of the country and its effect on my daughter’s health.

Voila!! It’s been more than a month and touchwood!! You know what…..dare I say it!!

But then again back then it was probably not even the pollen that had not allowed her to breathe!! It was probably my own insecurities that were cramping her life force!!!

I’m putting myself In a vulnerable position here so people understand the effect we have on those we serve…

Steiner said…it’s not what we say or do that affects children. It’s who we are.

Much Love,

Nirupama