Safe from the harsh rays of the sun.
But that’s not the only reason it makes me feel safe.
Eyes are the windows to the soul, they say.
There are times, when am not out in the sun, I wish I could wear my glares.
Those times when I feel threatened, vulnerable, exposed- through my eyes. As if they reveal everything about me that I want to hide. So I look away. Avert my gaze. Examine my shoes.
When I wear my glares, I hold my head high, as if I have nothing to hide. I can mask my insecurities behind my glares and still look cool.
Now am unafraid of looking right into the face of a total stranger and not worry about that awkward eye contact.
Now my thought wanders to a friend….a friend who has nothing to hide.
Does such a person exist, who has nothing to hide?
Yes he does because he has autism. A pure soul.
He has a different problem than mine when it comes to eyes and eye contact. Opposite to be precise.
Yes, eyes are truly windows to the soul and for my friend, into other people’s souls. That is a package deal with his autism.
When my friend looks at someone, he can through their eyes, really look deep into their soul. Whether he likes it, or not. He’s privy to their worries, anxieties, fears and what not. That’s not somewhere he likes to be.
But fortunately he has one choice. The choice to look away. To avert his gaze. To examine his shoes, just like I do- when I don’t want someone to look into my soul – when I can’t wear my glares.
Am glad I have glares to hide my soul. I wish my friend had glares that would hide others’ souls!
April 28, 2013